Hi baby, it's been a long time since I last wrote you. So much has happened, and I know you would be happy with the changes I have made. Kennedy & I are all moved into our new place, and I have decided to leave my job. Something I know you wanted me to do for a long time. I had an odd dream about you last night. It didn't upset me or anything... And I am not sure why but since your death it has made me think more of my cousin Ronnie & my best friend Jesse who both died by suicide. Apart of me wishes Jesse was still here ( because when I felt like this, he picked me back up ).... I came across a father's day card Kennedy gave you, and I tell you what I have never been so angry with you as I was at that moment... I wish I could say I understand, I wish I was at that point on this journey, that I could say with full conviction in my heart that it's a mental illness.... But I just am not there yet. I know one day I will be able to forgive you, and fully accept the mental illness.... But it is so hard to comprehend. How on God's green earth do I ever explain this to our daughter, so she doesn't grow up wondering... I could have sworn she asked where you were today ( and a part of my heart just broke). Of course when I asked her what she said, and if she asked where you were... She replied with the angels in heaven... God how I wish I would have known than, what I know now.How I miss you, how I wish the roller coaster of emotions would stop... I love you and miss you.. I really never wanted you to let go last night, and than I woke up...
Love always n forever your wife,
Ang
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