Dear Ricky,

Hi baby. As I sit here and write this, it is hard for me to grasp that you have been gone nine months now. So much has happened since you past away.As you know, the biggest change for me, was quitting my job. That has been so good for Kennedy & I. I have had so much fun with her, she loves that Mommy is home with her. Also the other changes that have come is my new place. It is so nice, to have a place of my own. I think you would have liked it here. It's a quite little place. Bean & I just stay to our selves here, but we like it. Can you believe I made all eighteen miles? I was a little surprised, but knew you, Ronnie & Jesse were with me every mile! I am doing good things! I am not saying that I do not have my moments, where it seems like everything is crashing down on me, but I know God is with me. Church has been amazing, I have been going to bible study and met some amazing ladies there. You want to hear something funny? Well at least I thought it was funny. Some people have said I am their inspiration. I never thought that would be a word used to describe me. Honestly all I do is live! I am happy I have reestablished my relationship with God. That does not mean I am perfect, or have not made some mistakes, since you past, but I am working on it as best as I can. Did I tell you next year's overnight will be in San Francisco June ninth and tenth! I am already super excited about it! I will be doing a community walk October first at Green Lake with my friend Marian for the American Foundation For Suicide Prevention. That will be a lot less stressful as far as fund raising for it, and not as many miles, only a 3 or 5 K walk. Also on a sad note, I have learned of at least four more suicides since I came back from NYC. Being a survivor of suicide loss is a hell, I wish upon no one. There is not a day that goes by that I do not think of you. I love and miss you so very much. I will always wonder why you left the stage in the middle of a song... Your beautiful song. I love and miss you. Love always n forever your wife, Ang

Dear Ricky,

Hi baby. I know I made you proud, Wendy and I completed the 18 mile walk for the American Foundation For Suicide Prevention Out Of The Darkness Overnight walk. It was the most amazing experience. I know you would have liked NYC babe. My goodness it was a busy city!!! I will be walking with my good friend Marian October first in the community walk. That will be held in Green Lake, and I look forward to it. I also will be going to San Francisco next year for the Overnight. It seems like I have found what I am good at... I never imagined I would be a person so passionate about raising awareness for suicide prevention awareness. Mariel Hemingway was there ( I know you probably have no clue who I am talking about), and she shared her story of how suicide has affected her life, and than told our stories. I was trying so hard not to cry on stage, but I cried. The most important mile marker to me, was mile 6, it was so much more to me than a mile marker. It symbolized what would have been our anniversary, it symbolized to me, no matter what that there is always hope. I talked to Liz the other day, and she is going to help me make something out of your camis, I am thinking sweat bands, or something like that ( and they will be going with team Ricky to San Francisco ). There is not day that goes by that I do not think about you. I love and miss you so much baby.
Love always n forever your wife,
Ang

Dear Ricky,

Hi baby. I can not believe we leave tomorrow for NYC. I am a bit nervous, and super excited. They sent me the script,of what they will say when I am on stage. I just hope I do not cry, while I am up there. It still seems all so unreal to me, that you are gone. That I have embraced this journey, with arms wide open. The hardest part will be being away from Kennedy that far, and for that long. She decided to go with us to the airport to see me & mom off, were going to meet Wendy at the airport. We went & Saw you on Memorial day ( me, mom, & "Bean". She would touch your grave, & it was almost like she knew it was your place.....
I love and miss you so very much my sweet marine. Love always n forever your wife,
Ang