Dear Ricky,

Hi baby. Well Kennedy & I are moved into our new place. She loves it ( I am still unpacking, & going through things ). I found a photo of you & Manely ( how I miss that crazy Marine ). The silent auction did awesome! We raised $600, and we are planing a second silent auction/raffle. I am really excited about it, and hope we raise big money! My friend candy is organinzing it for us. I love and miss you so very much. I hope I am making you proud with all I am doing baby. I also started a new page on myspace it is titled There is hope ( a page for those affected by suicide ), it is my hope to reach the young kids, or any one who feels hopeless. It is sad that it took your death, to get me so involved with raising awareness about suicide, I hope that I can help someone out there. I love and miss you so much baby.
Love always n forever your wife,
Ang

Dear Ricky,

Hi baby... Well I manged to survive valentine's day just fine. Kennedy & I should hopefully be all moved in by the end of this week! It's a really cute place. I hate that I have to depend on others to help me move, this is when I get angry with you for leaving me to figure this all out on my own! There is so much good things happening, and you are not here to enjoy it with us! I wish I could get to the point where I could remember the happy times, and just in general feel better. Do not get me wrong today has been a good day, I just winder how long it takes to get 100% better, if ever. I love and miss you so very much!
Love always n forever your wife,
Ang

Dear Ricky,

Hi baby. So many new and exciting things are happening! Kennedy & I have keys to our new apartment, our bankruptcy has been discharged! I feel less stressed out about things now. Your mom is doing better ( apparently she had a very bad case of selulitus ). I have embraced all these changes going on, while some of them scare the shit out of me. I just wish you would have held on to hope that things would work out in the end. I am realizing that I no longer hold hostility towards Jesse, that he is in a better place. I often wonder if you met him, and he helped you on your journey in heaven... Silly I know, but it is what keeps me going. I wonder if Bonnie and you got all caught up, and are kicking back together? I miss you so much!!! There is so much you are missing out on, and it seems so unfair to me, that you are not here!!! I love you with all of my heart, and wish with all of my heart that this is just a nightmare, I am going to wake up from. I love and miss you.
Love always n forever your wife,
Ang

Dear Ricky,

Hi baby. So much has been going on in the last 48 hours, it has been crazy! Your mom has been in the hospital since Sunday ( Kennedy, my mom & I ) went to see Julie yesterday. It broke my heart to see your mom like that. I have been praying that she Will be okay & get to come home soon. I have been praying that certain relationships get better, and I think with time it will come. I hope all of our hearts heal soon, and the blame game will finally come to an end. I pray that I will get better, and not be so bitter. All this time that you have been gone, and I realize that NOTHING WILL BRING YOU BACK, IT IS AT THE END OF THE DAY MATERIALISTIC THINGS, THAT KENNEDY WILL MORE THAN LIKELY NEVER GET! I am tired of the fighting, and the disappointment that has came since you past away. I know that people feel entitled to your possessions, but legally I am next of kin, it just seems all so ridiculous to me really. And after all this time, I am still being "attacked" by people. It is what it is, I guess. I really am not a vengeful person, but rather a person who has said enough is enough. I love and miss you so much!
Love always n forever your wife,
Ang