Today was extremly rough. I heard rummors that people are blaming me, while it hurts more than words can say... I suppose they need to blame someone, other than you, to make thier pain go away. While we had our issues, I loved you more than anything in the world, and I wish people would not act like they were my friend, if they feel that way. I wish I had answers as to why you did this. I have felt so alone durring this, while I know I have family & friends that are doing thier best to be there for me. I am angry, hurt, confussed. I know your parents lost thier only son, I can not begin to imagine thier pain... However my daughter lost her daddy, and I am left to explain this to her, no one else! So for those of you that follow this blog, and have something you would like to share with me, than please do it to my face instead of behind my back! I have felt guilty, like how could I not know that he would do that. That maybe I am to blame... I live with that everyday! So please think before you speak, I blame no one other than Ricky for the choice he ultimatley decided to make.
Love always n forever your wife,
Angela
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