Hi babe... Guess I am just really missing you right now, wishing you were here. I feel I have been so blessed, even though things are a little crazy, I know everything will work out how it is suppose to. So I am trying my very best not to stress, because really there is no point in it. There are just so many what ifs running through my head right now, questioning my own self & wondering & worrying how things will turn out.... I look at your suicide in so many different ways, trying to focus on the positive things in my life, rather than the negative, trying to find that "silver lining"... I am not quite sure how to word it, without people thinking I am glad you are gone, because that is the furthest thing from the truth. Talking about your suicide with others has helped me in my healing process, I have met other survivors, & friendships with some of strengthened, showing me who will be there for me & Bean no matter what. I often wonder when I will get my "normal" back, I don't think it happens, but with time it gets easier, & I get a little bit stronger. I need you to do something for me, I need you to watch over Ang, her dad past away last week, & I can not even begin to imagine how hurt her heart is right now. I love and miss you so very much. Love always n forever your wife,
Ang
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