Hi baby... Eleven months ago my life was forever changed. It was like being in the worst impossible nightmare ever. 9/22/2010 wow what a fucking day! That was the day my dad woke me up & I was welcomed by a handful of cops, and a Chaplin... That was the day I was told you took a 9 MM to your head. That was the day I never thought would happen. I knew as your wife people, wanted to blame me, to make up their own sense of reality about you. I forgive those people who blamed me, they did not know any better. That depression, is an illness, and you hid it well from all of us. No one knows what our marriage was like, or how I feel still all these months later. I know that I will never have the answers, and NO I am not okay with it, I just accept it... I still however play the what if game, and I know I should not do that. It will drive me insane, literally. I try to joke around, but damn you!!! As much as I understand you were depressed, I just do not get it.... No I am not bitter, but I am not better either...
~Ang
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