Dear Ricky,

Hello baby. Well it has now been a little over a year since you past away. Today kinda hit hard. I can't believe that we buried you a year ago tomorrow. I find it ironic, that tomorrow's American Foundation For Suicide Prevention community walk is tomorrow, the anniversary of the day we buried you. I know I will meet others, with similar stories like mine. It will be a day of healing, and raising awareness. Why can't I just get back to my NORMAL??? Will that ever happen, I wonder? The girl who was the life of the party, the girl who can find beauty in the smallest things, and just laugh until it hurts. The girl who doesn't fall apart when she hears a song that reminds her of the way it use to be. The girl, everyone thinks is so strong, but has fallen apart. The girl who loved with all of her heart, trying so desperately to find something to believe in again. I didn't expect this day to hit me like it has, just seems like a bad nightmare still. I want to SCREAM, I am so tired of the tears... So tired of not being me..... Love always n forever, Ang